I Smell Like Derek Jeter

Every now and then I buy cologne. It's not that I need it. I have some cologne bottles for years. It's just that I get bored with a fragrance.

One of my friends sells Avon. Avon was selling Derek Jeter cologne for a relatively inexpensive price. Derek Jeter is a talented shortstop for the New York Yankees. I bought it w/o smelling it. Now I'm trying to figure out my motivation.

Did I expect that if I made this purchase, I would smell like Derek Jeter? Did I feel that once wearing this cologne my life would become as successful as that of Derek Jeter? Maybe, I can identify w/the tax problem he's having w/the State of New York? I don't know.

I wonder what other celebrities should have cologne. I know Britney has a perfume. I'm not sure why anyone would buy it. Certainly, you wouldn't want to emulate her life.

I wonder if George Clooney has a cologne? Brad Pitt?

Maybe, it's just the B list celebrity that needs a cologne.

Perhaps, I should market my own cologne? I think I'll call it "Pestilence." Eau de Marty would be too pretentious. I can even write the copy: "For those moments when you need to smell like a Certified Public Acccountant, there's Pestilence."

It really doesn't matter how it smells. I just need a fancy bottle formed in a peculiar shape. People pay for the bottle.

So, who's ready for a splash of Pestilence?